Listen to me!

As fascinating as all our individual technology is, families are more important.

That sound like a no rained, but consider your last family gatherings. It was not only the kids with noses in the phones, pads and boxes, it was the adults texting some thigh that could not wait and the AARP crowd were crushing candy and playing scrabble with friends. Really those little devices are mind filling! Plus I can text and talk at the same time...

But no one can keep an eye on the electronics and LISTEN at the same time. Listening requires eye contact and a mind clear of our own agendas. Listening means we do not even prepare our next comment while the person is speaking. We remember how to do it! Let's be the leaders in bringing it back.

Dinner at Grandparents can be TV and tech free! At Thanksgiving we actually gathered all the cell phone in one place and took a picture. Then dared people to leave them! Not everyone "could" but some us formed a impromptu band and others gravitated to the basketball court.

It starts with us - listening, exchanging ideas, waiting for thoughts to be completed. People who are listened to feel more valued that winning Tetrus!

The Whole Holiday Package

Grandparenting has a push-me-pull-you quality this time of year that some younger generation they envy.

If you officially now the oldest generation, there are the memories of long ago, some nostalgia watching old movies, maybe a sigh as you unpack the last of the Christmas ornaments off your growing-up tree.

And there is the excitement of the newest generation - the true faith in presents that appear magically, the real pain of waiting for the big day.

 In between are our kids - we watch them maneuver through the parenting years and juggle it all as we did. And now we don't. We watch more than do.

Tears, smiles, laughter, sighs, memories. Let them all come and fully be present in whatever place you are in.



May the hope, peace, joy and love of a new baby in Bethlehem be yours this Christmas.

When things are not so "grand"

Where is the magic wand I was supposed to get when the children and grandchildren were born that would protect them from job loss or heartache or illness? I don't mean the B on the report card, but cancer, divorce, moving into a friend's basement. When grandparenting is not so grand and I realize that begin emotionally involved did not end with toilet training or the wedding day!

The hardest thing we who have amassed volumes of experience is to not give advice unless it is asked for. We have time and access to the internet to look up symptoms and lawyers, but the timing of those helpful words is critical. And the right time to mention things is when it is needed and wanted. There is no way we can really know what is going on with the doctor or the settlement negotiations or even the second grade teacher.

What we can do is move prayer up the list of our activities! Don't save prayer for when all else fails.  Instead make it the default first step. Pray not only for the situation and the person, but for strength to listen and listen and listen with complete confidence that, having done our best, we can trust the next generation to make the right decision for that moment in their lives. And if things change and there is a different decision, we will support that.

Keep the support generous and communications open. A year from now, two years from now....

 

Gifting

This year I read some good gifting advice: give children 1 thing they want, 1 thing they need, 1 book and 1 article of clothing. Spend the rest of the time you would be shopping or wrapping, playing board games and being together.

Sounds really good! It has pretty much been my strategy for years. Then as the grandkids age, they get gift cards in Middle School and cash beyond that.

But I still love the catalog marking event...