The risk of love

We have two children in the congregation right now with very difficult  health situations. We as adults are being supportive and caring, but is it OK for kids to know about the children in case "something goes wrong"? I offered my grade 2 communion kids the opportunity to pray for one child - it happens they had seen him baptized since our lesson that day fit in.  Now he has a post surgical infection. What if....? The other boy is in grade 1 and battles leukemia.  How long....?

I risked inviting the kids to pray, knowing that as a community we will not suspend our support if things get worse. There is a risk in loving, caring, praying. But what better place to learn and be exposed to grief and loss than the church?

We will move forward in hope and prayer.

Just back...

This is our 15th anniversary year (Geezer love!) and the best gift we could give ourselves was time with family. We rented a big house in AZ for 2 weeks and told the family 6 months ago, anyone can come anytime! (If I had informed them of the date of Easter, many would be "Unavailable...!") Suddenly every calendar got an opening! All siblings, two of the four children, and all 5 grandchildren spent part of the time with us. Intergeneration bonding, new adventures, lots of talk and laughter. Best gift ever!

Not everyone can travel to the warm in winter, but even a local destination with a fun family event can be an attraction! A splash park or amusement park overnight, a weekend house at the lake,  a little travel and a lot of fun!

Remembering Important events

Kids never fail to remember their birthdays!

But as a Christian grandparent I try to remember other dates, too, especially baptism. Each year I made a simple card with a picture of their baptism on the front and a recent picture of them inside. It takes less than 5 minutes but reminds them (and their parents) of whose child they really are - a precious child of God.

 

Our children and OUR children

Of course the most important grandbabes in the world to me are the 5 that carry some DNA and tons of family memories. But I see many other children, and it is good for all of us "elders" to stay in touch with the young.

Many weeks I read on Wednesday and Thursdays to preschoolers - one group at St. mark's preschool in Glen Ellyn (a very well off neighborhood) and one Headstart  group at a community center across from apartments where many new immigrants reside. Once a year I travel to a developing country to work with children learning to speak English. In both Tanzania and India these were preschoolers as well. In every group there are engaged kids and bored ones, cooperative and distracted, happy and hungry and anxious to please the adults. Four year olds are much more directed by the fact of being four than of their situation in life, their clothing and food, their home life or faith life.

All these children are "mine" in the sense that I have some small thing to share - English - that can make their lives better. It is my responsibility and joy to do that.

What are your gifts? Surely someone can do more than talk  (which turns out after 60 years to be my only talent...) How can you use that to bless more than just your DNA,


but the children everywhere who can benefit from your caring?

Links in the family chain

As grandparents we have a golden opportunity to keep diverse family members linked.



One natural way is at holidays. Our family puts the emphasis on Thanksgiving together and leave Christmas for kids to spend on their own or with other family. Cooking is shared and laughter abounds!

While siblings (or step siblings) may not be ready to spend time together, the next generation of cousins are usually willing to do anything fun with grandparents and whoever else shows up. This summer I am going to coordinate the 9 year old girl from Iowa with the 10 year old boy from Michigan.

The other link we foster is the intergenerational one. This month I am using the opportunity of a sibling's 60 birthday to include the young teen granddaughters in the event. So the spa day will include women ages 13-76!

And the benefits of aunts and uncles to children is one more link we can foster. Later this month we rented a big house and invited any family who want to visit to come and say as long as they want. the bedroom use coordination required a spread sheet, but I anticipate a lot of laughs!

All I can offer are opportunities - and food!


 

Listen to me!

As fascinating as all our individual technology is, families are more important.

That sound like a no rained, but consider your last family gatherings. It was not only the kids with noses in the phones, pads and boxes, it was the adults texting some thigh that could not wait and the AARP crowd were crushing candy and playing scrabble with friends. Really those little devices are mind filling! Plus I can text and talk at the same time...

But no one can keep an eye on the electronics and LISTEN at the same time. Listening requires eye contact and a mind clear of our own agendas. Listening means we do not even prepare our next comment while the person is speaking. We remember how to do it! Let's be the leaders in bringing it back.

Dinner at Grandparents can be TV and tech free! At Thanksgiving we actually gathered all the cell phone in one place and took a picture. Then dared people to leave them! Not everyone "could" but some us formed a impromptu band and others gravitated to the basketball court.

It starts with us - listening, exchanging ideas, waiting for thoughts to be completed. People who are listened to feel more valued that winning Tetrus!

The Whole Holiday Package

Grandparenting has a push-me-pull-you quality this time of year that some younger generation they envy.

If you officially now the oldest generation, there are the memories of long ago, some nostalgia watching old movies, maybe a sigh as you unpack the last of the Christmas ornaments off your growing-up tree.

And there is the excitement of the newest generation - the true faith in presents that appear magically, the real pain of waiting for the big day.

 In between are our kids - we watch them maneuver through the parenting years and juggle it all as we did. And now we don't. We watch more than do.

Tears, smiles, laughter, sighs, memories. Let them all come and fully be present in whatever place you are in.



May the hope, peace, joy and love of a new baby in Bethlehem be yours this Christmas.