Monday, May 19, 2014

The Photo Box

In this digital age it is possible - and impossible - to keep up. If I made print and books and folders of every shot I have taken, we'd need a separate storage unit. How do you share what is relevant and interesting to the next generation - and the next?

By default, my mother had the best idea. She meticulously made photo albums of trips and events - shot with Brownie or eventually Instamatic! Taking one of those off the shelf seemed time consuming and daunting. No one wanted to commit to a bunch of pictures, only a few of which were really interesting. So after a polite first view, they gathered dust.

But the ones that were too silly or someone had a grumpy face or just did not fit went into a large white box. To take that box down was not a commitment. When you were tired, you stopped. More often than not these pictures showed the true spirit of the event - I really was grumpy on the trip to Colorado! And here is where my sisters and I looked anything but sophisticated at Prom. The white box was accessible and fun. If the pictures on top were boring, dig down a few decades.

So I carefully make photo books of our trips as a couple, but know they are our memories. Engaging the grandchildren is a different tactic. Look all of us they love pictures of themselves. I have a small chap album for each one that includes some infancy pictures as well as more up to date ones I change regularly. I throw them in the bag I take to restaurants, finding that the electronics go away so parents and children engage as they relive the memories. Far easier than hauling baby books!

I keep picture on the walls of our travels, pictures the children as children, and a easily changeable one with the latest of the grandchildren. They don't always look at all of them, but once in a while one will talk about doing a report on India or Yellowstone, and I am ready to walk them to the wall. I make special frames of baptisms, first communions, and confirmations.

And, yes, I keep a box of "throw away" - from several generations and printed out as I take them. Like letters and notes, it is good to have some non-electronic pictures to paw through and laugh at.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Staying relevant

I finally gave up on music.

Not that the 60's were the Best Music Years, but they were! Relevant lyrics like "she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!" They don't make 'em like that anymore...

I think as the children grew, I tried to be aware of their music - or I made them listen to oldies. Now the grandchildren are listening and moving to ....I gave up being relevant in that area. If I expend brain cells on negotiating the geezer world, I need to pick and chose where to relate to the grandkids.

My category is literature. I read at least the first book in any popular YA series and never bypass a children's department in the bookstore. I subscribe to the library's updates of children's/youth books, know my way around a graphic novel, and try to see all the book-based movies. It might not be my preferred reading, but it is worth the effort to have a conversation starter with a 12 year old!

What is your bonding speciality? CUBS batting averages? Latest Disney movies? Online gaming? The trick is to observe grandkids' interests and activities; then pick one to ramp up your credibility. (Note this is very different from talking about something you are interested in and convincing the kids to enjoy it!)


The subtle message is that you value them as individuals with tastes and opinions. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Summer fun and service

Here come summer for the grandkids - sports, lesson, camps. Maybe even Disney! And if you are lucky, some quality time grandparents.

 If possible, it is a wonderful opportunity to have each grandchild alone, even for an afternoon. You frame the event - zoo or library or museum or board games at home. Set your cell phone aside and focus on the topics they want to discuss and the things they want to see. Memories come out of these moments.

This is also an opportunity to engage them in serving others, even in a brief and limited way. Stop by the grocery store and let the child pick 3 non perishable foods they like to eat, but buy 2 of each. Bag one set and drop off at the Food Pantry. Homeless shelter in the area? Decorate lunch bags with stickers or markers and go together to donate them. Let them drop change from a meal in a donation box and point out how it will be used. Makes cookies or a love you card for the parents! Whatever you choose, set the example and talk after about how it feels to share and care.

Have a super summer!

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Far away places...come home

We are just back from a short trip in the south east: Civil War battlefields, Revolutionary wigmakers, and carriage rides on cobbled streets. The dutiful children will ask "So, how was the trip?" and may look at a few pictures, but the grandchildren are the ones who can be inspired (and - whisper - educated) if approached correctly.

Send post cards  - not the "wish you were here" scrawled message, but with just an interesting fact or two in words and handwriting kids can read. The postage rates have gone up, but 34 cents still buys a lot of smiles. Great as the electronics are, when there is real mail in the box, it is memorable. And it can start the conversation when you next talk.

Take a kids eye view of your visits. Remember kids love information about pirates, animals, and anything their parents would call "gross." Jot down stories, incidents, factoids to share in tiny bits later.

Pictures are great, but show
the ones relevant not to your interests, but theirs. Is it more fun to see the blacksmith or the wigmaker? Is life in the colonies taught in Grade 4 or 5? Which child likes horses and which one is a dancer?

Be available for reports, projects and further interest. If you are nearby, volunteer when the class learns about the start of the Civil War. Bigger projects can come alive with your power points easily sent online. Stay alert for games, craft projects, fiction books to share, enhanced by your (very brief!) stories of "When I was there..."

The day may come they will want to accompany you, or you will open the mailbox and fine...a postcard!